A Drop In Time

A Drop in Time.


The rain seemed to dampen the world around him, muting the sounds of mundanes on the streets, even as they surged on the sidewalks like a flood, crushing Alec in its grasp. He hardly felt it at this point. Magnus had refused to answer his persistent house calls, even going so far as to change the lock on his door so Alec couldn't break in. The Shadowhunter found himself wandering the streets with nothing to do in the aftermath of their breakup, his mind filled with dreary thoughts that matched the weather pouring down on his head. Before he had spent his time with Jace and Isabelle, training or hunting demons, but now that Clary and Simon were around to occupy his siblings. They were often too busy to spare time for him. Alec didn't feel spiteful, he did the same with Magnus when they were together after all. For the first time in a long time Alec was genuinely lonely, and there was nothing he could do, save spending a lot of time with Church. The numb sensation that ran through his system only served to heighten the feeling, until he found himself wandering around the same streets he had just a few days ago, hoping for something, anything, to happen.

The rain really began to pour, so Alec joined a few other mundanes huddled under a small archway sticking out from a little bakery on his left. He shivered with them for a long moment, before a flash of color mixed with the shimmer of a glamor caught his eye. He looked, rising up on the tips of his toes to study a figure making his way easily through the large crowds of people. The rain didn't seem to touch him, though whether it was Alec's imagination or the warlock's magic, he didn't know. All he knew was that the man that had been avoiding him for the past few days had suddenly appeared on his radar.

"Magnus! Wait!" Alec found himself running, pushing through mobs of mundanes, his eyes fixed on the tell-tale glimmer of magic that seemed to dance above the warlock's head. He watched as Magnus turned the corner, disappearing from his view. "Magnus!" Alec panicked, managing to escape the crowd in time to stumble around the corner, his boots slipping on the wet pavement for a moment before he was running again.

He grunted when he ran into someone, gasping when a hand wrapped around his wrist. He looked up, staring into angry golden eyes. Magnus stepped back, letting go of Alec's wrist as if he'd been burnt. The warlock was dressed in a shiny, form-fitting black jacket, with what looked it rhinestones dotting it in various intricate patterns. It covered Magnus all the way down to his knees, green polka-dotted jeans covering his legs until they met with shimmering rain boots. Magnus cleared his throat, and Alec's gaze snapped back up to the warlock's face.

"Why are you following me, Alexander Lightwood?" Magnus asked, his tone as distant as possible. Alec opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. He found himself staring at the warlock, studying the way Magnus' eyes glittered like ice.

"I...I just..." Alec struggled, letting his gaze drop to the pavement. The rain had long ago soaked  through his jacket, leaving his back and shoulders numb from the cold. "I saw you, so I thought I'd..."

"What?" Magnus asked, clearly annoyed. "You'd just chase me around so you could say 'Hello'?" Magnus reached up, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alexander, that's not how these things work. Don't you understand the reason why we broke up? Do you realize what you were planning to do?" Alec shook his head, looking up at Magnus with wide eyes.

"Camille, she-"

"It doesn't matter what she did, Alexander. I can understand that sort of behavior coming from her. She's my ex-girlfriend, and insane to begin with. It's natural from her." Magnus looked at Alec, his expression sad. "But you...I didn't want to believe you would do something like that." Alec looked as if he was about to speak, but Magnus abruptly cut him off. "I don't have time for this right now, goodbye, Alexander." He turned to leave, and Alec reached out, grabbing onto Magnus' jacket, feeling the glide of the material in his hand. His dug his fingers in, tugging on the jacket wildly.

"Magnus, wait!" Magnus didn't bother looking, so Alec forcibly grabbed him, making him turn around. He gripped Magnus' arms tightly. "I...I never wanted to do that to you, you have to believe me!" Alec looked at the warlock, into those cool, amber-colored eyes, the center of his chest tightening until Alec thought it was going to break apart. "Why...why don't you believe me?" He asked, his entire body seeming to ache with pain. Magnus looked away, focusing on the steady fall of the rain around them.

"I'm a hundred years too old to get fooled again, Alexander." Magnus moved, as if to leave, and Alec shook his head, pushing the warlock back until he hit the brick lining the wall of the alley. "Alexa-" Alec pressed his lips against Magnus', the warlock's skin remarkably hot against his own. Magnus made a small sound of protest, and Alec pressed closer, tilting his head, his tongue running against the seam of Magnus' mouth. After a moment Magnus' mouth opened, his tongue slipping out to touch Alec's, the warlock's arms wrapping around the Shadowhunter's waist, pulling him closer.

The sound that left Alec's throat would have been embarrassing in any other situation, but Alec didn't care right now. His fingers tangled into Magnus' hair, as if he could pull the warlock close enough for their bodies to melt together. He gasped when Magnus abruptly spun them around, so that Alec was the one pinned to the wall. Their eyes met briefly, before Alec let his eyes slip closed, waiting for Magnus' lips. He blinked them open seconds later when he felt Magnus pulling away. His fingers slid from the warlock's hair, moving to grip the smooth fabric of Magnus' jacket.

"Magnus...?" The warlock looked guilty, though Alec couldn't tell if it was because of what they'd just done, or what he was doing now.

"Alec...I can't do this." Magnus reached up, grabbing a hold of Alec's now limp wrists, tugging them off of his shirt. "You can't expect us to get together just because of a few heated kisses...that isn't going to solve things." Alec stepped forward, pausing when Magnus took a step back.

"Then what will?" Alec asked, feeling as if his throat was closing in on him. "How can I convince you that I wasn't trying to hurt you? What do I have to give to you?" Magnus looked up, meeting Alec's eyes.

"Time, Alexander. I need time." He replied. "I need time to sort things out."

"We don't have time." Alec whispered. "We only have, what, fifty years, tops? And that's if I survive that long."

"Alec-"

"If I die while you're sorting out your feelings, what then? Will you write me off as one of your failed relationships? Would you toss me in the same bin as Camille?" Alec was nearly hysterical. "Is that it? You're just going to wait me out? I-" He grunted when Magnus grabbing onto his shoulders, shaking him roughly.

"If I thought you were a relationship gone bad, I wouldn't be here right now, Alec." Magnus looked into the Shadowhunter's eyes, his tone serious. "I would have taken a Portal to Europe, or Asia, to escape the memories of you until I had convinced myself, one way or another, that everything we had was a mistake." Magnus' hands slid down Alec's shoulders, past his arms, to grab onto Alec's hands. "But I'm still here in New York for one reason." The warlock's voice seemed to tremble. "And that reason is the fact that no matter how hard I try to pretend it doesn't exist, a part of me believes you when you tell me that you never plotted against me with Camille. And no matter how painful it is, all of me loves you. That feeling never went away, it never diminished in the days we've spent apart." Magnus' hands were gripping Alec's so hard that it hurt, but Alec didn't care.

"Then...then why don't we...?" Alec struggled to collect his thoughts. Magnus smiled sadly, shaking his head.

"Because I need to know, Alec. I need to know that if we do resolve things, that's it's not just because I love you. That I'm blindly following me emotions, only to get hurt again. I need to know that I can trust you completely. That will take time on my part and yours." Magnus released Alec's hands, taking a step back. Alec didn't move to follow him, falling back against the cold brick wall they'd been pressed against a few, heated moments before. He looked at Magnus, his hands hanging limply at his side. Magnus stepped forward, brushing his lips against Alec's forehead. "You're freezing." Alec felt the tingle of magic, before heat passed over him like sunlight, drying him off and keeping the rain away.

"Magnus..." Alec whispered, not sure if he should try to hold onto the warlock, afraid that Magnus would just pull away and disappear into the rain. Magnus stepped back anyways, looking to Alec for a long moment.

"Alec, I love you. That much won't ever change, no matter how much time passes and no matter what you do to me. You could rip my spirit into pieces, and still they would drift to your side." Magnus smiled, his eyes sad. "I'll contact you when I'm ready to talk. But until that day, please Alec, give me time. As precious as it is to you, it is the best gift you could ever give me." Magnus turned away, and Alec moved as if to follow him, before he fell back, looking to the ground. Alec knew the warlock had gone away when he magic wore off, and the rain began to sink into his skin once again. The Shadowhunter found himself sitting down on the wet ground, his knees tucked under his chin, his mind full of the events that had just taken place.

Time. Alec thought wearily, closing his eyes. It was precious to him, but not in a sense of how many years he had left on the Earth. No, time was precious to him, because every second that past was a moment he could have spent with Magnus. Every minute that slid by seemed meaningless in comparison to the hours he'd spent in the warlock's arms. He'd given Magnus so much of his time already...

A little more wouldn't hurt.